Isabella's Story: A Transgender Person's Story of Survival Inside Louisiana's Prisons

The letter below came to us from our friends at BreakOUT!. This Thursday night at 9:00pm, the Allways Lounge will host a benefit for BreakOUT! featuring a range of performances; circus, burlesque, drag, bounce, and more.
"This is a short story of my life. Please type it and print it and send it to anybody who it might help."

My name is Isabella. I'm 22 years old and I'm a transgender woman. I was born and raised in New Orleans, LA. I'm currently serving a 13 1/2 year sentence in prison.

I'm writing this in hopes that I will touch the lives of other LGBTQ people or anybody else who listens. This is my story. I'm basically going to talk about my transition into society as a transgender woman, including my time spent in group homes, juvenile institutions, and adult institutions. I hope that you enjoy my story and pass it on.

I first realized I had an attraction to boys when I was about 12-13 years old. I've always been feminine and was fascinated by girls and wanted to be one. They used to tease me in school saying "You talk like a girl," "You act like a girl," or "You're gay."

I was like in 2nd grade, I didn't even know what "gay" was. I tried to hide it at first because I was scared and I wanted to be accepted. This did not work out at all. I turned to drugs at the age of 13. I used drugs to numb the pain and feel happy. I used all types of drugs. Once I got caught up in the juvenile system, I could not stay out. I kept coming back and forth from group home to jail. My family was very worried about me, they kept placing me in different programs trying to help me but I rebelled against them. The judge got tired of me and send me to a juvenile prison.

The juvenile system was very hard for me. I used to fight a lot trying to defend my sexual orientation and gender identity. I used to get mistreated by staff and other youth. I was treated differently and discriminated against for who I am. There weren't good substance abuse programs or other treatment services in there. After serving time in the juvenile prison, I went home and started doing drugs again. This caused me to be sent back to juvenile prison again. Every time I would get out I would go back to the same people and I always ended up in jail. I would make decisions and not think about the consequences - I was living for the moment.

When I was about 15 years old, I made the decision that I'm gonna be who I am. I was tired of hiding who I truly was. Every since I made this decision I've been at peace with myself. That's why I believe that I was truly born this way.

Despite my acceptance of myself, I still didn't have anywhere to go and others rejected me. I would still get involved with some guy and I would always get hurt because I was looking for love in all the wrong places. When you're involved with drugs and negative activities, the people who are around you will use and abuse you. They will tell you everything you want to hear and some. I fell for these types of people plenty of times. I had no positive peer support and no place to go.

When I got out of juvenile prison the second time, I was considered an adult. Any crime I committed now, I would go to adult jail...

At this time, I started dressing in women's clothes and taking estrogen and living my life as a full-time transgender woman. But I still didn't kick my drug habit. I kept using drugs to numb the pain I felt. I also used to believe that I could "buy" love and friends. Which is the worst thing I could have done. This left me feeling hurt, miserable, not wanted, and alone because people were always using me for their own personal gain and I was too blind to see it. I just wanted to be loved and accepted.

This lifestyle led me to adult jail, Orleans Parish Prison, to be exact. Orleans Parish Prison is a place of violence where LGBTQ people, especially transgender women, get mistreated on a daily basis. During my time there I was sexually assaulted by inmates and staff also physically assaulted me. The prison offers no protection or assistance to people who look for it. Therefore, I had to survive on my own.

During my time there I was given a break and was sent to work release. This was a much better environment, but I still didn't receive any substance abuse treatment.I got involved with this guy. I thought he was one of the best things that ever happened to me- I truly believed I found true love. We got out around the same time and once again, I was free. I was 21 years old and madly in love, but you can never have a happy relationship when there are drugs involved - never.

Well as you already know, there was no help or support for LGBTQ youth like myself and so I eventually got caught up again and ended up back in jail. I got blessed with a good a lawyer but I still got a lot of time. I finally came to a point in my life where I had to make a choice. Either I was gonna start loving myself or continue with this ignorant and destructive lifestyle.

I have been in jail one year and also have been clean one year- and that's by choice because they have a lot of drugs in jail, believe me. I'm just tired of the same old thing. So I'm losing out on years of my life behind this. I regret a lot of my decisions in the past but when I get out I'll still have a chance to live a happy life. I could go into so many more details about my past but I choose not to because that's not my main focus. My main focus is getting through to somebody so we can help them.

Well now I'm adjusting to prison life as a transgender woman. It's not easy - it's much different from the juvenile justice system. For example, a gay or transgender person in prison can't stand up and urinate- we must always sit down. We must face the wall in the shower, too. That is just some of the "jailhouse rules." A lot of it is a bunch of foolishness if you ask me. But you have to respect others and yourself in here so you won't have too many problems.

I'm missing on the best years of my life because of bad choices and a juvenile system that didn't help me. And if I can reach out and just help one person, I will be satisfied. I'm blessed to have family and friends sticking by my side during my incarceration- but I'm still lonely in prison. Because it's a lonely place.

I love my LGBTQ people to death because we are people and we need to be treated equally. Self-love comes first and then other things fall in place. I still have so much to learn in life. I'm fighting everyday to achieve my dreams. I recommend the Lady Gaga song "Born This Way" to anybody who is reading my story. The words in that song are great. We all are superstars no matter gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian or transgender. We're people who desire to be happy. We're just different and unique and the creator made us this way. No matter what I did I could never change my sexual orientation or gender identity, because this is who I am and it's not wrong. It's okay to be gay or transgender. But there are LGBTQ people who are mistreated all around the world everyday. But there are so many positive things for us, too.

I'm trying to start a group in prison now for LGBTQ people so we can come together and help each other. Society sends out so many negative things about LGBTQ people. It's terrible. I'm only 22 years old but I've been through a lot and my experiences can help other people who are having problems. If you read my story, I hope you enjoyed it. It's very short and in the future I plan on doing a lot more.

I would like to thank BreakOUT! for sticking by my side. Their staff has been at my side since 2007; since before BreakOUT! was created. They have inspired me to be positive in life and help other people.

Photo above: BreakOUT members at organizing meeting.

New Orleans Communities Come Together in Youth Summit

From our friends at Juvenile Justice Project of Louisiana:
On Saturday, March 24th 2012, youth from around the city of New Orleans came together for the first ever Power of a Million Minds (POMM) Youth Summit at Dillard University.

POMM is a youth led, youth organized, and youth run collaborative comprised of five youth serving organizations in the city of New Orleans. The youth come from all over the city including the African American, Latino, and Vietnamese American communities. Our five groups include Fyre Youth Squad (FYS), The LatiNola Youth Leadership Council (LYLC), Kids Rethink New Orleans Schools (Rethink), Vietnamese American Young Leaders Association of New Orleans (VAYLA), and Young Adults Striving for Success (YASS).

These five youth groups have been working together for over three years to build cross-cultural relationships and increase diversity in dialogue on critical issues that our young people are facing in New Orleans including issues of equity in education, employment, juvenile justice, and advocating for more youth voices and community involvement.

The goals of the collaborative are to problem solve issues that impact youth in our community, improve the quality of the educational system in New Orleans, create and sustain local youth organizers, and create positive working relationships between organizations and residents.

At POMM's first Youth Summit for middle school youth to college age participants, over 100 youth came together for a full day of consensus building, workshops, and live entertainment. The goal of the summit’s theme, “YOUTH(NITED) WE STAND!” was to allow dialogue between the different communities of youth, identify the key issues that are plaguing our city, and identify the possible solutions to these issues. The general assembly provided a space for youth to identify the problems they face and the solutions to those problems. Youth participated in “harvesting the genius from within themselves.”

Common problems identified included the need for better schools, more big sister/big brother programs, drug dealers in neighborhoods, lack of access to text books, lack of practical sex education classes, the need for better teachers, additional youth programs, innocent children being killed, boys don’t have anywhere to go for recreation and socializing, a lack of role models, the need for more playgrounds, recreational centers need to be repaired, the lack of vocational programs, trash in the neighborhoods, no jobs for the youth, low wages for youth, not enough community centers, existing community centers need to be repaired, the lack of community-based drug rehabilitation programs, increased parent involvement, and community sports teams.

Common solutions identified included building playgrounds, building recreational centers, cleaning up the parks, bringing concerns to the city council, using social media to communicate POMM’s message, hands on neighborhoods, planning city wide clean up days, decreasing the crime rate by providing education and employment, creating community service programs, taking care of our playgrounds, putting recreational centers in many diverse communities and not in one location or neighborhood, investing and creating neighborhood community businesses, creating personal treatment programs for youth, student peer education programs, helping stop the drug use, and identifying and cultivating relationships with adult mentors.

After the general assembly, break-out sessions were held on a variety of topics. The Youth Summit held workshops including the “School to Prison Pipeline,” “Know Your Rights,” “Equity in Education,” “How Haterism towards Youth Hurts the Future of New Orleans,” “Theater of the Oppressed,” “Knowing Our Real History,” and a digital media workshop. Youth participated as student teachers as each workshop was interactive and designed to tap into the knowledge base of the youth and increase upon it.

After the workshops and lunch, DJ AKT RIGHT kicked off over three hours of live entertainment that showcased local talent such as TEAM SNO, Michael Jackson of NOLA, K Levy, Keedie Black, NO Meezy, and featured socially conscious local rapper Dee-1. All performers stressed the importance of coming together to solve our own problems and that we can work united towards our common goals.

The goal of the event was to move more young people to become engaged in problem solving issues in their communities while allowing for a platform that addresses the needs of youth today. The summit will be used as the catalyst to start a citywide youth movement in New Orleans.

Library of New Orleans Youth Prison to Feature LGBTQ-Centered Books as Part of Model Policy

From our friends at BreakOUT!:
BreakOUT! member and formerly-detained youth, B., delivered a box of LGBTQ books to the Youth Study Center, New Orleans’ juvenile detention facility, on Friday.

The books, which came through generous donations from community members during a book drive held in September, were collected in appreciation for the facility’s adoption of a model LGBTQ policy. Among other best practices for the treatment of transgender youth and a requirement for staff training, the policy requires that “Books about being LGBT and LGBT-inclusive magazines will be made available to youth.”

Donated books, which will be placed in the facility’s new library, included both young adult fiction and non-fiction and ranged from books about gay civil rights leader Bayard Rustin to coming-of-age novels. The facility Director, Glenn Holt, and BreakOUT! thanks everyone who donated books for youth in custody. More information about the facility's policy can be found on the BreakOUT! blog.

New Organization Trains Community Members to Advocate for Local Youth

From Our Friends at Juvenile Justice Project of Louisiana:
SUFEO! Trains Legal Advocates: New Orleans Recovery School District Out of School Suspension Rates Surpass National Averages

On Friday, September 16, 2011, Stand Up for Each Other! (SUFEO!) trained 40 students from Tulane University Law School, Loyola University New Orleans College of Law, members of Young Adults Striving for Success (YASS), community members, and former teachers to become youth advocates. Under the legal supervision of the Juvenile Justice Project of Louisiana (JJPL), these advocates are prepared to directly represent public and charter school students in suspension appeals and expulsion hearings. Additionally, advocates will outreach to the community, work collaboratively with school administrators and teachers and educate students and parents about their rights.

SUFEO!, founded in September 2010, is a collaboration of JJPL, law students from Loyola University New Orleans and Tulane University and YASS that has stepped up to help kids stay in school. SUFEO! addresses the disproportionate impact of suspensions and expulsions on students by teaching youth ways to exercise their statutory right to administrative hearings. Through SUFEO!, law students, young adults, and parents learn how the juvenile administrative hearing process and student representation work within the school system. This collaboration presents a great opportunity for law and pre-law students interested in trial, advocacy and public interest work to serve the community.

Currently, rates of suspension and expulsion in Louisiana schools are several times the national average. According to "Pushed Out: Harsh Discipline in Louisiana Schools Denies the Right to Education", Louisiana's expulsion rate is five times the national rate, more than 18,000 middle and high school students drop out each year, and public schools in the state dole out over 300,000 out-of-school suspensions every year. In at least ten schools in New Orleans, the out of schools suspension rate during the 2009-2010 school year exceeded 30%. Moreover, the overuse of harsh discipline disproportionately affects some Louisiana school children over others. African American students make up 44% of the statewide public school population, but 68% of suspensions and 72.5% of expulsions.

Schools with the highest rates of suspension and expulsion are overwhelmingly under-resourced, overcrowded and attended by low-income students of color. Many of these students are not receiving the services they are entitled to under the law. When students are suspended or expelled they are not allowed to make up the work they miss or receive grades for the work that they miss, which may lead to students being held back and eventually, dropping out of school. Youth who are suspended, expelled or pushed out of school are more likely to end up in the juvenile justice system, a journey which is aptly called the School to Prison Pipeline. SUFEO! is our contribution in combating the pipeline.

To reach a member of SUFEO!, contact our hotline at 504-410-KIDS. We return calls within 24 hours to youth, parents, as well as respond to other inquiries.

Photo above from Young Adults Striving for Success.

New Orleans Activists Win Groundbreaking Reforms in Treatment of LGBT Youth in the Criminal Justice System

From our friends at BreakOUT:
Recently, the Louisiana Department of Human Services and the New Orleans juvenile detention center, the Youth Study Center (YSC), introduced a groundbreaking new policy that is designed to protect the safety and dignity of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth under their supervision. This policy not only oversees the protection of LGBT youth already in the custody of the system, which are estimated at 15% according to national data, but also mandates that direct care staff, supervisors, and social service providers at the detention center shall be required to undergo training to help create a safer environment for LGBT youth in their care.

The policy, which is one of the best in the country, was developed from a model policy written by clinical psychologist and national juvenile justice expert, Dr. Marty Beyer. It is impressive in its scope, providing eleven procedural guidelines that largely encompass the unique needs of LGBT youth. The policy clearly defines what qualifies as discrimination, harassment, and abuse pertaining specifically to LGBT youth, and prohibits both staff and other incarcerated youth from discriminating or threatening anyone based upon their sexual orientation or gender identity. The policy also prohibits LGBT youth from being placed in isolation as a "means of keeping them safe from discrimination," and prioritizes youths' "physical and emotional well-being." One of the more remarkable elements of this policy is its attention to issues concerning transgender youth.

Among the many "best practice" provisions the policy outlines, it requires that "transgender youth will be called by the first name and pronoun they request even if their name has not been legally changed." The policy also states that transgender youth will not be forced to shower or change clothing in front of staff or other youth - a situation that can be especially humiliating and terrifying for this demographic. Within the provisions of the policy, transgender youth must also be allowed access to counseling and medical attention in accordance with professional health standards. All of these are enormous steps forward, particularly for a demographic that is all too often overlooked in LGBT policy making, and for a facility still under a consent decree from a class-action lawsuit filed by JJPL in 2007.

Wesley Ware, Director of the LGBT youth organizing project of JJPL, BreakOUT! and former LGBT Youth Project Director, helped institute the policy. "I coordinated the investigation for JJPL's lawsuit 4 years ago. To now be a part of making reforms at the facility, in particular for LGBT youth, has been an incredible experience. The Youth Study Center still has a long ways to go, but they're becoming a leader with their policy reforms. Now the challenge becomes implementing the policy. Some youth have reported being held in their cells for being LGBT as recently as a few months ago, so the staff will need ongoing training and technical assistance to ensure all youth are treated fairly and appropriately." The facility has already trained their upper level staff and line staff on LGBT youth in the juvenile justice system.

Juvenile Justice Advocates Release Report: A Failing System Reminiscent of Tallulah

From our friends at Families and Friends of Louisiana's Incarcerated Children:
On Monday, Families and Friends of Louisiana’s Incarcerated Children (FFLIC), released a report to the Office of Juvenile Justice, the Juvenile Justice Implementation Commission, and Governor Bobby Jindal, providing details of family reports of failing juvenile reform. The report highlights OJJs failure to in implement the Juvenile Justice Reform Act of 2003 (ACT 1225) and offers recommendations which will bring about reform and move Louisiana more inline with an internationally accepted model of juvenile rehab services. (Family reports comprised by FFLIC were given anonymously due to concerns of retaliation or other harm against incarcerated youth.)

FFLIC is a state-wide agency serving as an advocate for parents who have children receiving inadequate care, safety and rehabilitative services while in the care of state juvenile facilities.

In the nearly 20-page report, FFLIC highlights comparisons and contrasts to and between the current Louisiana and Missouri models of juvenile rehabilitative services. According to FFLIC, the Office of Juvenile Justice agreed to adopt the internationally acclaimed Missouri Model, developed by the Missouri Services Youth Institute, which focuses on therapeutic, child-centered environment versus a traditional adult correctional or custodial model. Among the standards successfully implemented in the Missouri Model, FFLIC believes Louisiana is ineffective in rehabilitative therapy, placement of low-risk youth, facility staff and administration, youth transitions to productive citizenship, education, and physical facilities.

Gina Womack, Executive Director of FFLIC, says she is saddened by the findings in the report and is disappointed that these constant shortcomings by the Office of Juvenile Justice force organizations such as FFLIC, observing its 10 year anniversary, to exist. “In the 10 years we have existed, we’ve gotten a law passed — a law that is largely being ignored. Children are still being abused and neglected within a system that vows to care for them. The fate of our children is in the hands of people who continue to treat our children with disregard and their families with disrespect,” Womack says.

“Our children are being handled according to outdated correctional methods. We need to get a handle on this situation before another child dies behind those razor-wire fences,” Womack added.

Other major areas of concern cited in the report include:

A lack of family involvement
A mother of a child currently at the Bridge City Center for Youth said she was not given any information about her child when he entered Office of Juvenile Justice custody. Upon her child’s intake, she was not made aware of whom she should call in order to receive information. Another parent expressed her concern about how parents are informed of policy changes. While visiting her son, this parent was informed that visitation policies had changed while some parents were turned away before seeing their children.

A lack of high caliber staff involvement
FFLIC believes Bridge City struggles to retain adequately trained staff due to administrative problems and a lack of support. Currently, probation officers and parole officers are being used to supplement understaffed shifts. The report also cites multiple incidents of staff sexual misconduct and intimate relationships with the youth. A social worker was terminated from Swanson for having a relationship with a youth and there are reports of misconduct at Bridge City.

Poor youth services and harsh facility conditions
Parents are learning from their children that youth interactions have grown “extremely hostile” within the past months, resulting in fights between youths from different neighborhoods. As a means to prevent the violence, one parent said the Office of Juvenile Justice simply places more aggressive youth in the same dorm facility.

“The Louisiana juvenile justice system does not seem to be rehabilitating too many youth,” FFLIC officials stated in the report. “Instead, these youth are being housed and released without any significant change to their behavior and perceptions. Sometimes due to the mistreatment and the violence they have suffered while locked up, they (youth) become more harden(ed) and jeopardize themselves and their community.”

FFLIC came on the scene in 2001 when the organization held a “Mock Jazz Funeral” to mourn the dead and dying dreams of Louisiana’s youth. The jazz funeral protest garnered national media attention and led to the closing of the Tallulah youth prison, deemed the worst juvenile facility in the country by the New York Times in 2000. At the Louisiana facility, youth were subjected to broken bones, black eyes, fractured jaws, and rapes as everyday occurrences.

New Organizing Project Fights the Criminalization of LGBTQ Youth in New Orleans

From our friends at Juvenile Justice Project of Louisiana and BreakOUT:
JJPL is excited to announce the launch of BreakOUT!, a new project that expands JJPL's LGBTQ Youth Project to keep LGBTQ youth voices in New Orleans at the center of juvenile and criminal justice reform efforts.

As many of you may know, JJPL has enjoyed an active LGBTQ Youth Project for several years, advocating on behalf of the numerous LGBTQ youth in secure care facilities across the state of Louisiana. To date, JJPL has trained juvenile justice stakeholders, including detention centers from all around the state, on the needs and issues faced by LGBTQ youth in the juvenile justice system, advocated for LGBTQ-specific policies in detention centers and in the Office of Juvenile Justice, and enjoyed plenty of media attention, including a special PBS segment titled Juvenile InJustice.

As the project gained more momentum over the past year, including seeing the release of the report Locked Up & Out: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Youth in Louisiana's Juvenile Justice System, JJPL quickly realized the need for greater resources for LGBTQ youth, both inside and outside the system.

Although incarcerated-LGBTQ youth voices have always been at the center of our work, JJPL is now proud to announce a project to organize LGBTQ youth in New Orleans around the criminalization of LGBTQ youth, including targeting from the police and disproportionate incarceration rates, both in adult and juvenile jails. This project, called BreakOUT! will conduct leadership development with youth who have had direct experiences with the criminal and juvenile justice systems in New Orleans to engage them on existing reform efforts in the city and develop campaigns to affect concrete policy changes to reduce the number of LGBTQ youth in the system. As a result of this work, JJPL is also proud to announce the passage of the first policy in Louisiana on the treatment of LGBTQ youth in detention at the Youth Study Center in New Orleans.

In fact, youth from BreakOUT! have already met with the Department of Justice (DOJ) numerous times about their experiences with the New Orleans Police Department and provided recommendations for reforms they would like to see implemented in the police department. Not long after BreakOUT! and partner organizations hosted a listening forum at Women with A Vision and met several times with the DOJ, the DOJ issued their investigative report of the NOPD, citing harassment and discrimination against the LGBTQ community, in particular, African American transgender women, as one of the most pressing issues in need of immediate attention and reform.

In order to help push these efforts forward and build the power of LGBTQ youth in New Orleans, BreakOUT! has opened a LGBTQ-youth space for further meetings and events.

Please join us at BreakOUT!'s Coming Out Party on Tuesday, May 17th from 6 pm to 9 pm at its new space located at 1001 S. Broad Street, New Orleans, LA 70125 (under the Broad St. bridge in the Art Egg Studio). Use the call box to dial suite 217 to be admitted. The housewarming party will also be an opportunity to celebrate International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.